morning meditation

Scripture 4

Coming out of the closet as a smart cookie has always been easy too due to encouragement. 

biscuit melon head fundamental unicorn yogi gurrl

Scripture 3

Making friends has always come easily because there's something about me I don't yet understand that makes me likeable to anyone. 

self portraits

me up close and personal

serial sleuther

feeling stylish

the real me

me in my goddess form

Incognito

Scripture 3

The thing about my reality is that it is always crashing down. It only ever lasts for a year tops. 

me

I'm aa carpark nymph

Scripture 2

Getting out of bed has always been a challenge. I roll out usually because I'm too depressed to stand up. 

Scripture 1

One day I was born. I don't remember it. Maybe it was a blur of colour after the refuge of the womb. The first memory other than vague impressions of a swinging animal above my cot is sitting in the pram trying to speak to my mother and her friend and not being understandable. I was very upset about it. I really had to practice moving my mouth to make words. The next memories are being held, being picked up and whirled around by my uncle, starting a teddy bear collection and teddy bear tea parties with teeny weeny tea sets pouring out water into tiny cups. 

memoir z

Another amazing thing about being an anyone is seeing through people like panes of glass. I can see their intention and sometimes their thoughts. 

memoir y

The other thing about being me is being very adept at transverse translteral thinking and energy channelling. This means I can raindance into a good day. 

memoir x

 The thing about Earth World is that I spent it in the shadows making many friends in passing through the places in the light. I miss the friends not around me now and I look forward to a big party someday.

memoir w

 The other positive aspects of my life have been interacting with lovely dogs, training them, seeing my younger cousins grow up. Going to local events and supporting my communities in the arts and charity. I have been active in feeding the homeless. I have had some amazing hikes with some amazing guides.

memoir v

So many arguments fizzled out when I figured out the argument interrupter resolver as a thought hack. So many men changed their attitude when I proved I'm a funny up for laughs kind of woman. 

memoir u

Another aspect of being the messiah is steering global arguments in my direction and eating all the demons out of them

memoir t

Also as a Messiahnic person I live my life doing the right thing and shattering the glass ceiling 

memoir s

Thought hacking can also alter and build an entire civilisation including the building styles 

memoir r

Ending the play. Closing the charade. Winding up the poem. And the dance. That I have lived, as a life. End scene, flourishing courtesy flowers strewn in my hair no remorse or regret. Mission achieved. 

memoir q

 Stories from the Nowhere World sound like solitude, independence, thinking, wriiting, observing. Peeking in through a window to see natural behaviour whnen they are unaware of me. Going to the shopp and brrowsing the latest baby food developments just to get an ear to the ground of food science. Browsing the library stacks endlessly. Listening intently in a lecture and feigning joining in on a joke at the same time.

memoir p

 Because I was so traumatised from an early age I was not actually able to engage with the real world until recently so I actually grew up and live in the Nowhere World as a Non Anyone just like Arya learned to be faceless.

memoir o

 I am also a mythological person who has never been captured on camera. I'm very aware of inspiring paintings and stories and even films by being glimpsed or witnessed at my full self.

memoir n

 The best time I ever had with my current level of memory and reflection was New Year's Eve with a friend at a kind of swanky do in Milton Keynes having prosecco together at midnight and chit chatting with some locals in the beer garden. I wore a luminesce orange dress and I had long hair at the time.

memoir m

 A specific example of thought hacking is withdrawing the troops from Iraq, electing Boris Johnson as a puppet, electing Trump as a lesson in never trust a Republican and everyone wearing facemasks during the pandemic.

memoir l

 The thing about thought hacking is that writing a moving speech or coming up with an amazing not ignorable idea leads to action or the idea coming into being. This way I have gone around critiqueing city designs, social systems and reworking the political landscape to bring about world peace as an ongoing process.

memoir k

 Thought hacking has also been a big part of my life. I noticed at an early age that some things I say have alot of impact via word of mouth so sometimes I blog with just a few readers or tweet something to have a specific impact through word of mouth. I have the ability to  make a thought contagion.

memoir j

 The most amazing times of my life have been riding a little pony through the tundra in iceland smelling volcanic ash in my own on a self learning holiday after a friend thankfully cancelled. Another is driving wih my grandmother in her amazing classis BMW to the supermarket with her hair tied up in a scarf and her horn rimmed glasses shining in the sprringtime sun. Another is watching two friends spontaneously reenact the entirety of little britain while we were haning out behind a school. Another is lighting a bonfire taller than a man by a lakeside drinking winter beer with a big group of friends and just shooting the breeze. Another is sneaking into the canteen to snack on the japanese delicacies the office was gifted after a huge trial and being caught! Another is champagne breakfast at the office listening to the ;atest gossip. Another is playing volleyball barefoot in the sand on a cold Summer's day in the Netherlands after watching close friendly collleagues giving very amaing and informing presentations in a trendy beach bar. Another is the office online coffee corner during the pandemic, playing catch the mouse with turning the screen on to be suprised by a person being logged on.

memories

 are shifting. i always knew my family hated me and my friends didnt like me and thought i was a weirdo, just like they were saying. but with time, my memories are altering and shifting into two streams because im starting to believe i waas cared for and about.

me

memoir i

 The thing about life is that it knocks you in the balls over and over again until you can't get up so that you are forcedd to become a new person to survive.

memoir h

My life has also been fantastic in so many friends birthdays, football matches,, going to the dance festival and opera. Picnics in the nature reserve, board games past midnight and walking on the beach in majorca teaching my friend to swim 

memoir g

The new part of my life began 3 years ago when I became a ghost and heaven got involved

memoir f

My life has been a grand exploring adventure with barely the capacity to tell anyone about it despite never doing it alone until I started therapy to get over things like being a reject in my family 

memoir d

A more amazing aspect of my life was birthday parties, new years eve parties, Christmas reunions and work dos. 

memoir e

My amazing life included being voted class captain, jumping into the sea, singing in the pubs, infinite hiuse parties, long conversations about all sorts of everything, working in high profile situations and seeing the world. 

memoir d

The better times of my life are picnics with cucumber sandwiches, barbecues with barbecued banana for dessert, camping at festivals, dancing at weddings and submitting to art galleries 

memoir c

The amazing moments of my life have been kinex robots, barbie parades in the playground, dancing and playing clarinet at the summer fete and opera house, acing maths in lc, being accepted to tp, being mathsoc auditor, organising and attending the mathsoc physoc ball, going to csm art school, being a lawyer, counting friends in the hundreds and having a beautiful dog that I raised from a puppy. 

memoir b

I had a nice time playing lego with my family, comparing school projects, hanging out with friends, studying in the library, chilling with classmates and colleagues, being courted by an angel, winning at success. 

memoir 3

After Swansea I lived with a pig and escaped once more to the working world and for the first time avoided a trap with a promotion. Then I burned out and left my colleagues behind and went to Greece after some alternative healing only for the invisible man to visit again and put me in a dreamworld, this time for two and a half years. Now I am out and healing and married and retiring to toulouse to assemble my dream home with a vast fortune. 

memoir 2

emoir

It’s all a fishbowl. People looking in all the time. So I choose to look like a goldfish, even though I’m a darting shark or a who knows what.

The first thing about my life is being born to caring parents and being misunderstood. At least my siblings understood me as a united front. The first day of school I met my best friend forever who I tragically lost five years later for twenty years due to manipulation.

Then a changeling stepped in to fill the gap and turned my life into a sinful place.

The escape came through a drama brought about by seeking connection with a friend turned virgin rapist by a late teen drunken party slumber night puppet show. With the changelings ex boyfriend there as well. This was finally deemed unforgivable by the changeling and so I escaped to explore the pastures of university life making a clean break except for a boyfriend abuser from my home town. Captured by a troll. I finally escaped that one after much degradation to graduate as cosmos expert with happy friendships and only one leech in the form of a northern Irish woman.

memoir volume 1

Memoir

It’s all a fishbowl. People looking in all the time. So I choose to look like a goldfish, even though I’m a darting shark or a who knows what.

The first thing about my life is being born to caring parents and being misunderstood. At least my siblings understood me as a united front. The first day of school I met my best friend forever who I tragically lost five years later for twenty years due to manipulation.

Then a changeling stepped in to fill the gap and turned my life into a sinful place.

The escape came through a drama brought about by seeking connection with a friend turned virgin rapist by a late teen drunken party slumber night puppet show. With the changelings ex boyfriend there as well. This was finally deemed unforgivable by the changeling and so I escaped to explore the pastures of university life making a clean break except for a boyfriend abuser from my home town. Captured by a troll. I finally escaped that one after much degradation to graduate as cosmos expert with happy friendships and only one leech in the form of a northern Irish woman.

money situation

I'm living with mum and dad waiting for my fortune from crypto mining investing and selling nft but they think it's all a scam so they're not supporting financially on the downpayment of 500 euro to receive several million euro

ms as a blessing

The funny thing about ms is that it really makes you appreciate what you do have when you have it. So I quite like reflecting on my life during a relapse. 

astrologer

I'm getting some amazing predictions and guidance from my astrologer and angel interprete. 

ms warrior

Fighting my disease for most of my life now 

dog walks

Monty has really perfected his backflip. I took him out three times today before 9am!

new job

I got a job as a model starting next week. It pays well and involves free jewellery! Can't wait 

weather

Today is very warm and bright. It's beautiful outside. 

ms

A relapse is just where everything even thought goes completely wrong for about three years. But with my new medication I might not have one ever again once this one is over! 

ms

It really sucks. This relapse involved psychosis and extreme pain. But luckily I have relapsing remitting ms so everything goes away and I'm starting to feel better 

life update

Feeling nauseous lately, I hope I don't have covid again. Does anyone quarantine any more? 

good morning all

How's it going in your universe? 

party animal

I'm still getting withdrawal after my party animal days

what is going wrong with my life

Unemployed (horrific, terrifying) living with mum and dad (depressing, demeaning) out of touch with friends (lonely, isolating) out of touch with the world (confusing) 

guys

people

vegan

I'm going vegan! I wonder how long I can hack it. 

my current identity crisis update

Parallel monogamy seeking heteronormative as a polymour. Finite valency

me today

my life

Is all ups and downs but it's getting on the straight and narrow. 

recovery

I have also now recovered from the mutism I had to a karge degree from quite a lot of trauma. Shout out to my therapy team. 

mornings

I love the morning. I see the sunrise every day. Now that I'm no longer depressed I don't need to be an insomniac to see it. My favourite thing is waking up at 3am and doing my morning routine. Cooking a healthy breakfast, getting some tending to my Instagram done and having a morning bath before a cup of coffee and a cigarette while the sun comes out. 

multiple sclerosis

The community provides me with so much support I'm actually doing fine. My team are amazing and my relapse is really turning around into an uptick. Strength in my limbs again, brain fog clearing, fatigue almost gone away! Prickling skin is also lifting! I love you Mavenclad!!! 

ex boyfriends

They've always been fussing too. Numbering 15 now. 15 serious relationships! Still on good terms with them but now settling down. 

cooking

Is one of my favourite hobbies. There's nothing better than hosting a dinner party with three courses made from scratch! 

family of fusspots

Does anyone else have this have a problem? Lol

things I CAN take from my life

Likeability, softness, hardness, sheer determination, grit and gorey detail. 

phone calls

I've been avoiding them while my mother was eavesdropping but I just miss them so much I'm going to do them again. They're my favourite thing in the world. Surprise phone calls nake my whole entire year 

family

It's a kind of love hate thing isn't it. They want you to do this but you want to do something else. Then you go to them for free food and they take it the wrong way. Friends..   Save me! As per usual 

want to buy me a gift?

https://mieuxquedesfleurs.com/products/cool-box-personnalisee?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwgpCzBhBhEiwAOSQWQa6S2hAjKPA3TYMzvVbrLg7D_UOswGlUaZjDrgL_hC4kfCs5nIlm2xoCpJ0QAvD_BwE

Apartment 4 

1 place de chateau 

Brax 31490 

France 

what's happening today

Walking is my new hobby! Doing 10k steps a day

polyamourous

I definitely am. Husband number 3 at this point in time 

life

Life goes on and on and on. Sadly it's never ending. I really have to come to terms with that. I lived overpaced expecting to just flicker out but here I am surviving and knowing loads about the afterlife. It's a challenge align my living with never ending life. 

how things are

How things are

Things are fine. Alot going on, alot coming in and going out. Little bit out of control, little bit helter skelter. Little bit breaking, little bit healed. That kind of a moment. So what that is like is sort of being blazed from the inside and ice gunned from the outside. So that's the kind of inferno I am trying to get out of now. The thing about that kind of inferno is that it's addictive for a feeling reason. So leaving is also a challenge. It burns and freezes and I am tempted by the moderate warmth of the real world. It's seems so bright and filled with possibility rather than struggle.

The thing about the struggle and having had had a struggle my whole life in some kind of a forest is not really knowing an anything about an anyone even in my own life. So I'm adrift and bereft. Floating on the flotsam of a boat I made to cross the sea away from the forest through a hurricane. But I have made it ashore so I am now needing to find my way to the nearest village. 

space queen

Is what I'm choosing to identify as

update

With all that's going on here at Liz land it's been hectic these last few years getting everything off the ground. So, time for a well earned break. Then tying up some loose ends and then really chilling out. So many things have happened, I have earned my way into a lot of niche areas at a high level. So I'm quite exhausted and the resources are running dry. Watch this space for when things gear up again. 

plan for coming out of retirement

I am going to get big as artist, author, business person, inventor, scientist and then..... Just be a chef! Watch this space! 

pyjama day

Angel journey

I am currently being taken on a bast journey by angels so if you see me flying by do say hi. 

I am me

This is the 1234 this is me blog. Welcome and enjoy. I may not be what any of you expect but I am indeed myself posting snapshots of my life. 

what is it meaning to be me

A mystery magical journey to the cosmos and beyond or a beginning of an ending every single day until the ending gets bigger and bigger and closer and closer?

But that is just like what it's like to be me. What it actually means to be me is to be normal in my own definition which is not currently available on earth. Normal means healthy self, healthy regular contacts, purpose, endurance, self development, enjoyment, quality time eyc.