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Annihilation

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 I actually do crave it, how am I supposed to ever get over all of that? I actually expect it will occur if this is a continuous vision. So don't get used to having me around. Next time around, starting from now, simple and basic.  The Ohuí will lock herself away and figure out how to earn a living. Then you'll see me at the red carpet because, why not. I would Rather be in the void than this dream. I actually don't know my past, I was just guessing. How could it not be anything except incompatible? I also hate the way I look, doing the mission (unconsciously so can't even get any appropriate praise) destroyed all my dreams. And myself. Whatever is coming I'm just going to try and prepare myself with surely push ups or a thought. The thought would be... Anything can happen to anyone for any reason. Or even no reason. Take it by the reins. 
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What to think

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 I actually haven't really thought any thoughts in ages. I try to ignore what's going on. Luckily I'm now a new person because no one wanted my idea. No one even asked me about it. So call me Beth and expect not a lot. At least that's a relief.  If I could say one thing about my experience it would be waste of time. At least now it doesn't feel like torture. So this cycle was being a genius, being ignored and destroyed, being a hero and denied existing, now brand new. If you're wondering what did I do it was basically zero. 
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I am being

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 Not super well, quite a lot of nightmare recently. Any sympathy available? I thought not. You're all useless readers! You never even say anything! I am being, used and abused... As per usual except more so. I am being... Constantly questioned, what does it mean to revise reality by mistake? It means bigger forces are in action 🤷🏻‍♀️ with the best own thinking caps on. It wasn't too much before but it is right now. It's such a jargon parade of a non meaning nature. I really do hate this carry on 😭 
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Me as I am

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 I do not like what is going on, I don't want to be involved in anything and I am suspicious of any outcome. Those are all facts. To be living in a vision for any extended amount of time seems unfeasible, as usual. I am hating it. What to do about maybe decades more of.... What is going on? Why would I have to be subjected to it? Life is so unfair. Aside from greviances, mp gravitates closer day by day, actually believably now. And who do I really have except for only hannah... What to make of it all? Zero idea quite frankly. 
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The real idea

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 Is becoming to donate more time, then pack it in. It's impossible to sustain. I'm still ongoingly expressing myself and my opinion because it's still forming! Everyone wants a slice of my pie but I really am actually hungry myself. And avoiding a CLONE parade makes good honest sense. Especially now that I really know what is going on. It's also a tale of merit, I had the thought so I do the speech. Then certain things get voted on or selected (I'm very passionate about gathering for gardener but that's just for myself 😋). Other things are also just for myself, the way everyone gets to be uniquely creative. I'm just inventing building blocks that are perpetually satisfactory. 
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Tattoos and piercings

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 Don't get remarked on so they must all get the go ahead! 
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This is not my cock up

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 This is their cock up. I'm just being honest. And they're incapable of discussion. 
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