This is me...

 If I could do anything or go anywhere it would be exploring villages and seeing churches and graveyards, piecing together a history. Hidden spot cafés or back alley bars. Botanical gardens to take some selfies, secret bookstores (especially the little biblios everywhere, going to religious places, joining a meditation group, trying some new herbal teas, being in vintage cars, going to the theatre, seeing ballet and contemporary dancing, fine dining, oysters by the market, enjoying guinness, the science style cocktails I had before, hot air balloon, funfair, circus (acrobatic), road trips, cinema, getting my nails done, a spa weekend, a book signing, reading amazing French magazines, knitting a shawl, hosting tea parties, baking, watching Alice in wonderland, scratching dogs, cat encounters, knowing more about birds, going to unusual museums, seeing dubrovnik, going star gazing, being on a yacht, seeing a glacier, getting caught in a rainstorm, doing a creative brainsto...

 I am.... Well, amn't I? I be... Don't I? I choose.... Frequently. I like things like jellies, Turkish delight, strawberries, grapes and card games. I like to do things like swimming, walking, reading, listening to music and making art including writing. I also REALLY enjoy tourism and cultural experiences.  As regards items, I have a robot collection (vintage tin toy version), a hat collection and a handbag collection plus a vase collection. I enjoy flowers at home, but fake means less work. I like movies like barbie, palindrome, la dolce vita and the bicycle thief. I like TV like 30 rock, arrested development, bridgerton and acupulco.  I like books like the gift, holy texts, Oscar wilde and Shakespeare. Of music I like modest mouse, Phillip glass and the slits.  Out of my (struggling) memories, my favourite moments are dreaming of a pink convertible, playing football on the women's team, dancing in East glendalough, being backstage at the national opera...

 I believe in UFOs, I think aliens exist and visit earth. I think earth is very barbaric compared to alien life, at least it used to be. We're actually not that technological by comparison. Aliens must surely do long centuries of interstellar travel. As a different lifeform, they might be more robust than ourselves and better suited to space travel. They seem very curious about us and their depictions make me think they could be curious about our artworks as they seem utilitarian.  Definitely, besides humans, a whole range of life forms must exist, why would God only create us? It's interesting and perplexing but most of all fascinating. 

Everyone has unique knowledge based on their experiences. Everyone has a unique life. So what do I know? It comes to, a rainbow is maybe moist. A cloud is damp, and they are both a powerful universal symbol because of being a natural phenomenon.  I know how people feel under the pretense of belief and action. People hide their real feelings even from themselves but I can discern the truth.  I'm very good at invention truth and knowledge. This is because I have thought about these things alot and really deeply understand them. So I know them well. Sometimes I enjoy just discerning a surprising truth or thinking of a new artform or critical theory.  I also know people of all sorts very well. This is because of explanation by a higher power during a long period of prayer. Actually, despite this, I find them surprising.  I know beauty very well. It's actually not fickle whatsoever, it comes also from a physical source and attaches to worthy ideas. 

Do occur, sometimes hugely. Then, being optimistic, there are plenty of problems for future generations.. For example, what is a meal without a pasty? Where does it all come from? And... How do we get there? Mistakes come in all shapes and sizes. Worst of all, they can be obliterating. Small mistakes really can accrue. But we're all human and perfection is impossible. So forgive destiny and pray to the cosmos for an answer.  People are flawed. That's just how it goes. I thought I could make a perfect flawed race of humans, but it's not to be. Existence is precious so let's all pray for a saviour.  What's life about? I claim truthfully that I do not know. Anything you can hang your hat on seems like as good an idea as any other. We all muddle through until we get somewhere, personally I'm still nowhere. But I have hope in "someday"... :) 

Today I woke up with a very clear sense of self. Not exactly crystal clear but clearer than ever before. I'm actually feeling nothing like I would ever have expected but it seems to be a take it or leave it idea and I'm thinking nothing else is even on offer. Being is a strange phenomenon. Why do we bother to care about it when we can maybe not control it or really choose about it. It just occurs. Life happens while you're busy making other plans.  It's no joke to be under so much pressure constantly. Why they did it to me I might never understand I just hope it actually does end I have been kidnapped, hijacked and sabotaged about everything I've ever actually been wanting.  So here I am at the ending of an identity crisis. With a clear sense of "this will do".