This is me...

5am,time for tea

Red cabbage dumplings,, red wine, varamel chocolate and the colours uellow grey and purple 

I adore animals and hats. I am a quirky person and a little bit telepathic and also able to divine and manipulate energy

Is listening to voices in my head (archangel Gabriel) being pestered by monty the impossible dog (going to rehome him) and.... Going to medical appointments. I also write flash fiction and do dictation for god. I also go walking in the beautiful surroundings 

Is tgat i have akways been too scared to talk about my actual life experience due to its being so unusual i didn't want to be judgedd as crazy so i stayed mainstream. No more! For example today angels got my prescription changed and hekped me release pent in panic! 

Used to be very afraid all the time but now I am chilling out and I have contributed hugely to social progress and bringing about an incoming age of peace. I am proud of myself but still uncertain about my future because of my conditions

Where to begin. I've been having a tjree year vision or maybe schizophrenic episode coupled with very painful ms relapse which is FINALLY ending. Don't worry about me too much though because in the imaginary world i had quite an adventure and befriended some angels and god

The other thing about life is that it kicks you in the balls. Having schizophrenia and ms is such a double whammy yet i carved out a career. When you get knocked down you get back up

And I ran out of ideas

Very suicidal right now 

Been there three times this year and might be going back in 

 not working everagain, happy and content with my MS existence, raided the pharmacy so feeling fine. please do come and visit 

 that ends the midlife crisis

 exogenous existence

 t be a theologian

 love, gezzelig

Is love and sharing love etc

Ms has me so drowzy but the pain is at a minimum at long last 

Is something like what to do, how to want, where to be, what's going on, how did I get here, where am I going. Alas I know the answer but it's difficult to bear

Of carrying on is seeing the unseen 

My meaning in life is seeing things in and of themselves 

Happened during my mid life crisis 

Perfect from top to tail

Means waiting for a text

Going on a long vacation. Maybe the Seychelles! To explore coastal terrain and sealife. 

Supposition, inquisition, acquisition then transition 

Is to become a numerology master and worship numbers. I have already found a teacher 

Looks bright and shiny with a sunny prospect 

Crisis over, confusing posts will be receding into the imaginarium of my memory ddo indeed forget about them. New realer way to indeed be being is found and accounted for from top to tail. Holy life ahead in accordance with God's plan and God's way. 

Is my nee obsession like living in an ikea ad. I want to know what kind of spoons you own and how many times a day you snack or go for an ommetje. Hungry hungry hippo for that kind of knowledge. I'm going to write a book about it. 

Like always. Never not ever. That kind of thing. Here's a joyce imitation : let the London shores lie alone, bee as won with the high and mighty, allow the moon it's quiet pride. 

Life is a joke. It's a good one 

Even though it's been a rough relapse (sooo much pain and skin crawling and brain fog and fatigue and psychosis) I'm still happy because at the moment all of them are actually going away, they were basically all there always at least a little bit. Especially pleased about psychosis going away because it used to make me say things I really didn't mean to say and also act ways i never meant to act. Brilliant docrors, pharmacists and the ms foundation are to thank for their help as well as the power of prayer 🙏🏻

Is actually Becoming under the Hegelian notion 

Learning to accept who I am. A tiny puny human at ghe mercy of a terrible disease. A weakling by all accounts. A stress avoider. A becoming on a constant basis. 

I'll give it a go 

Might be conversation 

Does not work for me 

I just don't see the point. Existing is futile because we're at the mercy of the fates. Maybe I need to find a form of freedom of expression 

When one could be just unaware in an amazing dream with zero effort is maybe findable. What do they tell to computer game addicts? 

 Maybe community and other people like our loved ones colleagues and neighbours. It’s also about having had acquired the right to existing by just being born. This means we need to guard our human rights and tend to our needs.

 Can seem like a backwards track but with the right perspective and the right lick of paint it can be a winner!

 

Participation in the collective 

Mine is excruciating to become but glorious to be. It involves serendipity planning, synchronous movement and gentle attitude . Above all joyful countenace and also a dash of hope on a constant basis for even bettet

Maybe travelling and feasting 

When I have neither pleasure nor pain and have been breathing for a while the lukewarm insipid air of these so called good and tolerable days, I feel so bad in my childish soul that I smash my moldering lyre of thanksgiving in the face of the slumbering god of contentment and would rather feel the very devil burn in me than this warmth of a well-heated room. A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. I have a mad impulse to smash something, a warehouse, perhaps, or a cathedral, or myself, to commit outrages, to pull off the wigs of a few revered idols... Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf Tags: boredom, emotion, 

I've already reached all the goals and I've ever had so maybe it's time to move the bar. I'm now aiming for world class and if I reach that I'll aim for historical. 

What's it all about? Where do we find purpose? Faith? Fulfilment? Leading a cult? Being a cult fave? Having a following? 

It is a challenge we all face to be ourselves and the nature of the challenge is to exist well and choose a way of being. Mine is in flux! 

In and of itself it is a tricky business. What it holds the key to is life the universe and everything 

You are that

It's a present moment that is ephemeral and reaching a stasis of being full of goodness and enjoyment in life's pleasures 

Being a fashionista involves dealing with free goods. They're very beautiful because I am attracting a lot of interest on Instagram 

All the mental health problems are fading now that medication is kicking in

Got paid today and went shopping! I bought some really lovely items in Colomiers 

Hot mess here but at least the weather is cooling down! 

Happy out! 

New house found! I'm going to pay the deposit in the morning and stay there for at least a year! 

Jiminee

The point about doing anything whatsoever is to be untangling mysteries for other people to see

Is doing nothing, doing something or being in between 

Interdependance 

Is breathing in... And breathing out... Metaphorically 

Unravelling the nature of reality 

Basically everything's fine having a nice time going to the church in the city and out for dinner. Catch you later! 

They've never said anything real to me my whole life and pretend to be perfect and are jealous of my superior perfection but when I start opening up to them they send me to the hospital