This is me... my life, myself, my foibles, my hopes, my dreams and my wishes.

 I’m a zookeeper, come, find your tribe… in the animal kingdom (spirit animal). My core concept going forwards is animal mignon, the seriousness of a zebra and the humour of a clown goth. So… it’s essentially a circus paradigm, half wit logic, true heart sounds and intensely poignant reflections on a zoo day.

A talking routine should include snippets of personal life, an idea about news type topics and concerned or inquisitorial questions.. Both or more people should exit the conversation feeling heard, thanked and glad. 

Is caring and compassionate about everyone... I have the ability to be exclusively nice but my inside self gets frustrated, angry, emotional and volatile! #human

I have always had to exit relationships, cities and jobs because after max 2 years I'm a narcoleptic falling into a deep coma every day. I tried everything, more iron, coffee, napping in the loo, power naps, shorter work hours... 

No more. I have been, about everything. 

This is the sort of thought I have been told to think... It's baffling because I really have a very narrow skillset. And extremely limited experience! If I'm not doing a "learning and guiding journey" plan, I'm basically null in the conversation. 

Is not actually any amount of crazy, just visions from deities. It's a magnificent experience. 

Is fierce, angry and disappointed. This is because life is always confusing, even more so the more I learn. Messed up. 

I like it's vagaries, I like a good disturbance, really shakes things up. But most of all, I like a happy ending or a happy beginning, or a happy middle. Such as is so, if only I could shed the dread of being. 

In all forms of "obvious thinking" Elon is a brute and I'm a waif... BUT common sense is actually deficient and deprives everyone of their real success. Elon is brave and fierce, I am shy and tender, but with him I am courage and strength. He with me is loyal and maybe even gentle. It's a bit like taming a bear... But I find for example everything he says as heartwarming. He brings out my intellectual side and softens my tears. I think for him I can redirect his ferocious energy into a kindness of sorts... Maybe even for him to be monumental. The proof on my end is enjoying and speaking my mind in a high stakes meeting.... Qed. But also, ever since I knew about him, I've been wilful where I have always been silent. For him what I tell him always works out and I give him strength (he's so misunderstood). 

Would be... What if everyone could share a shopping trolley? What if houses could be loaned out for free? What if dog's were incumbent? What if people were free to really think? What if nice became mainstay? 

So far it has been to be punished for doing no wrong, and to be aided by nooone and then made famous of a destroying manner in a universe far away to then be condemned to live in. So there is none. 

The point is to be of a universal awareness in order to havr a vaster gasping and commitment ability. This can be applied by conversation a magnitude above or about or turning moments into highlighted opportunities. 

I like to reframe everything I value as a success for me, even a sob story. Any effort leads to experience gained, fact, so it's always at the least going to be a success of developing or knowing or understanding. It's too easy to get mired in "I'm a failure!". But sometimes I think the effort was a success but I actually am a failure, I actually do like to think this from time to time. This is because it lends perspective and humility and a degree of humanity. The human condition is a trying game, after all. 

I get so nervous when I speak to him because it really matters to me. It's like I'm being offered this really huge opportunity to manifest my true self AND be able to do anything AND with confidence if I could just talk to him more freely.  To be a bit more romantic, he's just really getting me like no one else and otherwise he's the whole package... Looks, brains, humour, bit of a challenge. 

I try to be pragmatic and effective. I experience alot of silence and quiet times as a result but that speaks volumes at the same time. I try to find routes to achieve my goals (lifr goals, friendship goals, information etc) while remaining cordial and courteous. 

The vision last night was about being saved from decrepid archangels by the Nabe, a god I encountered in my deep past.! 

The morning woman of brax, seen at dawn on the country lanes and wandering until dusk. A head clouded by grand visions and a heart full of hope. In this dream, just until.... The right time. 

I began concept mashing a few lives ago. It's always interesting to experiment with mashing various ideas and cii shows a focus on simple guaranteed results like smiling, laughing and good deeds. 

When I am deliberating about what to think or do I typically put positive thoughts together and skip any negative thoughts that emerge in my mind. I just don't think them and find replacement words. For example, "I hate egg noodle salad" becomes "I'm not a huge fan of that noodle salad with the egg in it" (I also entertain myself by choosing a more elaborate phrase or put in effort to be descriptive so as to be precise)). As for actions, I try to be harmless, avail of a convenient option and also effective. For example, choosing a breakfast involves looking at all the food in the cupboards and fridge and weighting the options by hankering, and time available. 

The day can be saved by... Being a hero! Be someone's hero by enabling them to be heard or preventing a bad decision. For example, any situation has an activity and present people, if you turn it into a pository activity then you might be a hero. This is achieved by making the most part of the interaction positive (for example a soothing sound always works plus it's hillarious) 

Is an auditory vision with gods present and speaking guiding me and collaborating on books of my thoughts that they are interested in 

He talks to me psychically! He's actually got a huge vocabulary 

Is solving life itself! I cracked it such that soon it's happiness and nice feelings (and more 😉) for everyone! 

It's just a shield, to divide us depending on what we look like. It's a stupid concept. I choose man sometimes and harrowed woman otherwise. Why must we do what society conscripts? There is no real reason. Scrap it and find your freedom. 

My troubles stem from looking too deeply at EVERYTHING. I can never seem to function and I hate myself for being anything.  Life really is a waste of time. Nothing is worth doing. I do think that's a fact.  People are ok because I long ago accepted that they just are that vile so now I laugh with them. 

 to be a queen, a hardcore queen. Sounds nice doesn't it? I'd rather be a no one but if I have to be a queen I'd be a lazy queen, a queen with loyal hounds and sell swords and soldiers. I'd fight in the wars and sit on a crimson throne. My castle would be like a raging fire in the middle of a bustling city full of duplicity and secret comrades. I'd own nuclear weapons and conduct biological warfare against the vile villains who dare threaten the peace. My crest would be a dragon and I would eat royally on game from my private forest and grounds.  My clothes would be shipped from Milan with secret pockets in the sleeves for hidden weapons. 

Being a super soldier! Sharing my unique insights! Doing my own idea of heroics.. Like smiling at people 🥴 I'm still new to project development...! I also like doing charity for charity s sake but it really makes me emotional 🤷🏻‍♀️ so not that often. I get by! I'm usually a success story at the same time. 

Because the voices in my head are the gods, I am an oracle and this blog is my mission! 

Today, I woke up around 1am, had a bath and got dressed then ran out of steam and tried to fall back asleep. This was unsuccessful, so here I am, blogging. 

Grunge is my meaning because it's vibrantly laid back and easy to sink into. I really resonate with its nihilism. 

I adopted it for survival reasons, anger was giving me heart pain and I have a weak heart so a cute exaggeration of a reaction sufficed to be the workaround. 

I hate everyone I ever knew because of their opinion of me as a sex doll. I am much more than that and I even showed them. They're dead to me now

It's an astral night In the daytime twilight  Rainbows on the hill The moon is rising  Looking to the stars And their hidden secrets It is clear  We are a galactic people  With a spectral mindframe Marching onward Through the dusk Chasing sunlight  With a nebula lamp To light the way.  Oh big day,  We'll see you Come about. 

Is caring, trying and excelling, that's my attempt at life. 

Like pushing people away even if I really care about them.... :( I ALWAYS want to chat but the darkness shuts me down sometimes. Especially in a special moment 

Thinking to myself, life, what a fiasco! Then I was offered so much knowledge, direction and motivation because apparently that's already a winning idea. 

I decided to leave my corporate job because I was burning out and my MS was acting up under the stress. I took some wellness time abroad and then realised my life partner was actually just a pandemic romance, we weren't working in new normal. So I went to live in a Dutch village, developing my passions into realistic projects. Then I decided to go on vacation with mum and dad, on the brink of their retirement. This turned into a three year road trip and now I'm still living with them with my dog and my passuons are all finally emerging realistically. So it's a constant celebration! 

Under a bough While the ivy Dies, of the summer heat But there was rain  Last night.  Him, far away,  Me, alone  Both aloof of our Whereabouts  A handshake merits The formal occasion  As per Two strangers  Who know each other  In the manner of A good book. So fortune smiles On the timid And the lakes of time Together Open up. While I watch out for Rats in the ditch Wearing My favourite Bland attire. For meagre for mire For strong or For slim. It all occurred Honestly, I hooe. 

It means no subservience, no judgement, no cat calls, respect and indulging about toying with gender. It's just a label. 

When I used to do graffiti and graffiti artwork, I was obsessed with the color and stencil making. Layered stencil drawings were my thing. 

 I am very... Academic when it comes to life. I like to know a proof for a reason before acting. I also tend to judge and appraise everything and everyone constantly, in a framework of no right or wrong for a good idea, they'll all just manifest differently and it's always a delight to watch! 

(desparately) learn how to talk like an intellectual! 

I'm lazy, fond of booze and will do anything for a house party. But also hard working and driven to inspire and bring about real change in people's lives. I actually do like Coco cola! I miss being a vegetarian and I want dogs, in my future, not cats. Living with my parents as an adult is a rite of passage and it forces me to do something I'm really motivated about! (why else ever leave the daughter spot on the couch?) 

I like myself, quite a lot. Self love? Maybe lacking. What have I ever do e that's been genuine and sincere 😭 maybe zero. It's never too late to start. 

 

Elon musk in the village, gods babbling in undertones, me and monty having a wild yet chilled out time. (mini adventure). These moments indicate a holy pinnacle of the experience so far. Monty's mood is the indicator as my sensory aappa0rati are damaged. Elon musk is a common lure to get me out of bed and I always fall for it. But That indicates 9real exhaustion so a pinnacle indeed. The gods are up to their usual mischief and complicated entertainment system for a devolving person. 

So I am. This feels like a big moment I'll look back on. Life has been STRANGE and SURREAL so the current idea just gets me back to fighting fit, as well as locking in certain ideas. My confusing thoughts are all accounted for. 

Is that all is well if you work with the underneath layer tactfully and carefully. 

In principal it seems like nothing is coming back for all my efforts, but in reality I feel satiated with the promise of riches and the constancy of inner world richness and a thriving life to be a part of. A certain feeling, ability to out earn others, a stronger type of friendship and romance also awaits. I even put in Easter eggs for myself. Cheering crowds... Slomo hyper-appreciation, positive attraction and an understanding of everything including legalese. 

I am very happy with my work and work is very happy with me. 

My people, my glorious people, anyone choosing to be so, are the reason for the effort and the strain. Even the common vole. I am speaking to you today to wind up my mission to aid and allow. To heal and to help. To get everyone onto the right side of history.  I have been blessed to meet and know amazing people who really do put thought into their life.  Teatime is a wonder at what people will admit from the distant corners of themselves and their ethereal natures, let alone solid heart talk. Let it out to let it in. It began as a study, I recall. A scholarly activity. Just a meagre enquiry to whosoever woke me up, "why so?". Thus began a voyage of curiosity.  Toward recently, I have been tinkering with earth. I have knowledge I don't remember learning so it must have been a gift from on high. That's certainly one conclusion of my prayers.  So earth was a collaboration, and in truth I was so broken by thinking that it was a largely mindless endeavour. Yet it bears g...

To be great at giving and gifting, to be curious and to be bourgoisie. 

If it looks like lounging around in a q and a, it's actually sleep walking, day dreaming and ever wondering. On the topic of myself because everything else is on pause until I know something real about myself. Getting realistic... 💪 

My life has ever been..brittle . Because I..like everyone .. Then I try. Staying put .... Then it looks like..nirvana .. Owing to collaboration of...hundreds of gods.. Resulting in...no understanding of how I got here.. Then I'm meaning as a somni. Trial and deliver... To be speaking forcelessly as the real test for a listening audience.. M. The most relevant part of my formation was the lab. 

It feels small to be a femme, kind of gentle and radiant. I wonder if the effects would include anything of a powerful nature. It's certainly easier because people pay a lot of attention. 

In my first life I was trained in poise, balance and etiquette including conversation domination. A little later I became a combat specialist. Then I was taught about my paranormal superpowers. Then came intellectualisation. Then I set about conquering and learning how to rule.  Recently I have done a demonstration of some of the knowledge I have acquired.  This met with a big reaction, being of medium impact.  The whole way through my existence, I have been guided by gods and educated by gods and experiences.  This way I am due veteran status. To launch my eternity away from conflict. 

Have always related to reality in general, who are we? Why are we here? Where do you we go to find ourselves? I'm reminded of the book the sleepwalkers, where it is posited that we are not yet awake as people.  These questions drive me forward. 

I am more free to be me, as of today, and I like me. I'm a cool cat and a kindness and caring person. 

What does it mean to flourish? It could be catching sight of a butterfly silhouette on a leaf with the suns illumination. It could be eating toast despite that it fell on the ground. It could be a trip to the beach without getting sand stuck in your phone.  What is loyalty? It is a way to consider another person. What is trust? It's a very brave and dangerous manoeuvre but you can't live without it. 

The genius with the winking eye wandered the hills, the plains, the cities and the world. When she had seen every variation of everything she sat herself down. She started making a plan. A grand plan, for the gods to use. She showed a quick draft to God himself and he was impressed. They soon got to work about developing the full plan. 

She entered the common and boldly sat at the head of the long oval table. Everyone turned to look at her. She stopped unpacking her bag, put her elbows on the table, steepled her fingers and said "yeeaaayszs?" looking around at her classmates, all with signifintly more right to be there. They laughed and continued their conversations while she set about studying. 

She lay into the tree with her a thick branch, shaggy hair rippling in the storm around her. She snapoed a bough and leapt aside as it fell. To be quicker than quick she sprinted silently through the wild grove all the way home, just in time for tea. She pisiyioned her self, after tidying her appearance, at her mothers elbow, back to dutiful daughter. "plates or bowls for the pasta?". Polite as polite can be. After tea she excused herself with gratitude and then changed into a rave outfit which she hid with a long coat.  "I'm going to meet chloe!" she called out as she departed. "have fun!" replied het parents simultaneously. Instead, she took the backroads to the local nightclub and ordered a jagerbomb. A woman alo e, raving and casting around wikd eyes to keep the men at bay. 

So I'm tasteless pasta and a charcuterie fromage planche. This makes me fine, cured and exclusive but a bit dull! 

Triangulation can be a plot device, a thinking tool or a navigation means. 

I believe a narrative can be built all sorts of ways, and can be utilised not only for entertainment but also actually education or demonstration. My books use narrative loosely, sometimes with unrelated sequential sentences building up a mood or tension without bothering with a plot. In this way I am postmodern. 

This past year my thoughts about my true vocation have been coalescing, however what i decided on does seem too easy. I had to choose something easy because I'm so broken. Maybe once they become more involved and evolved yhey will be more engaging. CII is something I am definitely proud of but obvious whale and kooky koala need some work, i think the logos are ok but the business premises are still lacking flair.  It will work if I make some ugly pots and write something gritty. That's my current feeling. 

I won't pretend to know anything about myself but I can write about my experience and feelings. I feel lonely and misunderstood. My life has been a total waste of time, no one was able to make me feel welcome so I became a reject.  All I really know is that I like distraction. 

Time is very intriguing, why does it speed up when one is having a good time and slow down when you're bored? Makes no sense, better moments should be perceived as elongated. Maybe this is just because I am backwards. Going backwards through time from fine to dying. Usually long time frames give a possibility of improved condition. I feel ever more decimated. 

I use this concept in several theories and fields. For example, my metaphysical theory of people and life. People can attain a rotational aspect in relation to outlets and commitments and the like such as to achieve multitasking of a natural nature even in the flow state. Psychosocially, it can relate to beings within environments as to be harnessed by architecture that draws the eye bringing about rotation of theme and the like. 

Is in a dream location, listening to 100 gods talking and guiding. And singing. It's also a shifting immersive storyline. I am being rewarded with life skills via hallucinogenic experiences. My mindset is being improved to be more realistic and I am gaining a higher appreciation of my self and my life and choices. 

Would include rising before six. I like to get up early and see the dawn because then I am energised and inspired. It also feels like a rebellion against my former lazy days of waking up at 11! Then I go for a short walk and get some fresh air. I like to see the early morning village life, lights slowly come on and people start their commute. I drink a coffee outdoors and let the caffeine take full effect. Then it's home to walk the dog, check in with my notebook and look at my to do list. Then I plan the rest of my day in terms of structuring in blogging, project development, emails and frequent breaks for optimal concentration. 

They're not just about catching up, it's also a chance to go deeper than face to face allows with the handy option of no entertaining and thus an easy exit. There is a certain charm about a phonecall ever since it was invented and hello was coined. Slightly informal, speech only creates a safe space to disclose a really personal angle. 

 I started small, an unexpected compliment, a surprise smile. Then it snowballed through religion class learning about moral dillemas and later by reading about scientific psychosocial research results. Meanwhile I was getting signs that it’s very important so I had to continue 

How can I possibly be quite a impactful as beyond everyone? Surely that's not true. I'm just at the fourth to top level for newly existing. Top scale for impact brought about by an unrelated topic owing to intention (for everyone to be happy and true). I have always noticed something about me that is different and admired and encouraged.  It could be that I am keystone going forward. I have always tried to be primarily realistic, so, job promotion or a happy feeling adventure? I have always chosen the latter. And my discoveries speak for themselves. 

I'm choosing hairy because it's a brave feminism and it's just natural. What's so wrong with natural? Why do we indoctrinate our young women to be hairless? It's a fool's game. 

What's it all about? What could possibly be my answers except the things I care about. What do I care about? Creativity, community and pository concepts. So that's what it's about.  Where am I going? This relates to my vocation but also personal life. As I have chosen Elon, monty, CII and obvious whale and kooky koala then that's where I'm currently going because I'm not there yet.  What have I been? Even on earth I have been blessed to be in many amazing rooms, according to the revelations I've been in all sorts of amazing places. So, amazing all round. Oh! Maybe that shaped me into an amazing person! 

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Eric in the tabac did a whisper session with me when my voice got caught in my throat. This is a charming display of acceptance for being shy and tolerance of whimsicality. As Eric is of retirement age and a real locak, it shows a welcome into the village culture by way of humour. A kind of reassurance from a boomer to a millennial. Intergenerational friendships are quite rare and demonstrate a value alignment. 

Today, I, monty the dog, sniffed around and fell asleep. Very good day. 

Or else she could never come to terms with the amount of trauma she gave me, so she denied it. 

She was always an ogre waiting to react after convincing herself she could know no equal. I was her equal, age 5.

 I’m a little late The starter gun Rang A long time ago But I’m a genius  So I made it work.  The story sounds like  “Wilful deceitful femme Destroys universe “ From one angle  But what about  “Hero of a feminine nature  With a plan for you and me” Ie it’s inclusive!

I know myself, the way a loofa knows it's a washing sponge. What do I mean to people? Except it would be a false notion of earth to thinj as such... Out to the jury. What do I mean to people more generally? I suppose it's something of a being saved reaction. What do i mean to people's in my life? That's the question. So much heroism, as so far unnoted. So I ll just tell myself "something". You meant something somehow. Then I'm at peace. 

Would be the pillar of greatness, the foundation of nice, the cornerstones of virtue and zice with a healthy dollop of pretend. 

His wobbling chin And his stone calves  Defy nature! An outcry! From the vixen people.  But I cry...  He is mine.

I am But what am I  Even as a deed.  A good deed A nicr deed An honoriser An emancipation.  While showing,  I only needed to know it would work To show how it works The freedom idea.  Everyone was a slave To themselves and each other. 

They say It's a credence of a sort I say Ok, makes sense.  They say It's a revolution on all fronts  I say Ok, adds up. They say,  Except it's also minor,  I say,  Ok, could agree.  They say,  It's a whole new way of being I say, I can try to understand. They say Overall it's a huge achievement I say Ok, i beget myself momentarily. They said, Look after yourself I said What for? I'm doing fine. They said, But who really are and what could be if you were ok I say Interesting thought of a sorts. I say So leave it be? They say Definitely. So, ancient wisdom overrules The eager beaver And it's upwards At the same time. More sanely, More realistically But they insist Keep dreaming Keep trying to be knowing One day they say You'll get there. 

As an emancioated female who took the blue pill, I see it all so clearly now. It's all kaid out among us, to be squandered. So... Take charge, take control, switch it around. Make head and tails of itself and own, the daisy dreaming, as a fruit of the loom. The first matriarch? Maybe. Men grow weary and women grow spiteful, in the old regime. Time for, anew, altogether. I see it so clearly, the corrupted leadership, squeezing out all the space for something soft, until only a chikd can even speak it, before a slap in the face. That's how it was, now earth at least, is Changing. It was a welcome reprieve, to not be so hard. They still need the blue pill, but they might not be able to handle it. So I'll explain. 

I waft from here to there All the while aimless, yet inspired.  I drift on the breeze of  Background conversation  Subtle beats echoing out  My window.  I am being lofty,  As a wayward elf,  To achieve  A sheer delight  From this chaos miasma.  Rising as such above, The clouds far below Verging on entering The cosmos Listening to the sound of Space whales The wheedling noises Tinkling silently As the planet spins around.  And yet where am I but A dreamy dream,  To be accosted by kindness And grilled about my truth  I'm prone to part Under Persuasion  My everything thought.  I thought no one  Would ever care Or notice My one woman war A wat for hearts For souls For deaf ears And blind eyes But it's over now And all the shame Is defeated. So I waft here and there And I raise myself up to meet the sky Whike yhe years drift on by In my state of repose. Who is to know the future? The prophets surely Not I. As a p...

I did do it... But what was it for? The quiet revolution,  Where times shifted Across a spectrum  Sparkling with light.  All that effort,  To change around the jokes.  Much more mannerly now.  I got so worked uo Because I was caring hard About people and more Industry flourished But what was it for? A kind of a vague thought An ambition for the erstwhile So it comes to be all the Pleading With the population By a rousing chorus From time to time Is in my favour. The gods smile on me now. For that confusing thought. So the future looks Radically golden. What's to make Of this state of affairs When I can barely Move, for the pain. But it's all about the future To build something Share my zany thoughts. That's what they say is An ought. Zany and zesty, Even that tone Is maybe my Uniquity.. 

 

I want nothing more Than to rest my weary head A collection of books Lies by my bed.  My dog snoozes nearby And we take ourselves on a dream walk Coming uo against  Face to face  With the future.  But it's really just us here.  I'll open the door and crack the window To let in some light But not right now I'm sleeping. A home from home, A mysterious sound. A wall of meaning, And light air surrounds. Where do we go On this cosmic journey The cavalry have arrived And the champion is here. But my dog and I, We'll just be right here. Mornings tidings And yhe evening star, That's our life now. What else counts? Except Nourishment Respectability And accounting for  Errors And oversights.  Homeward bound,  But we're already there.  Me and my dog,  Living without a care. 

I live asleep on my feet, Traipsing in the dream room,  Alone except for a dog,  The they themselves whisper from afar,  I suppose no one ever could have  Known it About me.  Except he, as i can finally tell Is here.  So it looks like Quiet on the western front. A time to be in love. A time for small, A time for quiet, A time to begin What I've alway avoided, Scuba diving Within my Consciousness I must Confront myself. The trinkling tones And the spooky vibes But, Birdsong. And I get to See the dawn, Everyday. Better late than never, This weary soldier wants Something more than Scraps And bruises.  Someday. 

I lived to live and live a life I came up against all sorts of strife I was robbed of being a wife.  I know no one now in the Astral realm  My life is small as before compared  My brain will shrink with this mountain air.  I want to know if I could get it back I was moving on a winning track I just one Time dropped the slack. How fair is life, only karma will tell, Except the funeral bell did toll And now it's sky from here and many a cloud. What could I want except something big, I do have it and it feels more well Than yhe dreams of falling and standing by the hill. So watch my step, while I wend around, Notions of the past on my private cloud, Winging my way to claim my shroud... 

My life is conversations with the god squad and Elon musk with a bit of monty thrown in 🫶 

This is how I feel  Photo by Elon x

Life was always against me, the mental disorders, the sick in the head parents and the ignorant friends. 

My life has been a real roller coaster, first came chess acclaim for originality, then came dance fame on an international level, then came physics acclaim internationally, then cam maths reknown internationally, then art stardom globally, then I toned it down and tried something brand new and got a PhD and a nature paper, then international reknown in various legal fields, then in the charity sector I was known all over Africa, then I became an elite artist and a famous author and now I'm founding Cii 

I am a straight laced barmy person. I like to hang out with my dog or work on my mega career. Friends come and go but I'll keep some someday.

 

    #nofilter #nomakeup