memoir again

 

I must have looked like a forog when I was born because my mother treated me that way and lefft my baby wallpaper up until I was 14 years ols. Then I wound up with granny wallpaper that I didn't like either.

I was born in Dunlin's Maher hopsital 1/3/1990 at 20 minutes past midnight and Mum sauid I was no troube at alll as a baby and slept through the nigght.But I think I've always been an insomniac and that I pretende to be asleep so she woul leave me alone with little teddt bears. Somebody, maybe Hilary my aunt, gave me Brown Bear Barney my main tedddy bear who I still have and cherish.

Then creeche and daycare I don't remember anything about it except that our shildminder Kay had something like 8 children. Geez guys ever heard of a condom. I rememberone time I played a prank on one of her daughters when she was holding me in her arms in a button p dress and I undid all the buttons while no one was paying attention and everyone saw her her bra knickers and belly! Another time with the childminder I remember her alcoholic husnband was there and we were all running around playing chase in a field of long grass. No one could find me because was smaller than the grasss so I've always taken pride in being small. I held a stick up above my head when I couldn't find my way out of thhe grass. Ruth and Andrew were also there.

During the same era Andrew used to beat the crap out of me in the living rooom and I would go tell Mum and Dad and they just ignored me so then I had to leaarn how to fight so that I would alwayss win.

Ruth always joined in the games with me and Andrew evenn though she was too old like running arround the house naked getting pennies stuck to our bums.

Then came school and I made a brilliant friend with whom I have recently rekindled commenction because eventually Ruth bullied me about her so much I couldn't stay as her friend. Since then I've never really had a friend until I lef Ireland. I haad people to hang out with on street corners but no friends. No sleepovers exccept one where I craved to be a man because all they were doing waas talking about boys. I used to hang around with Rebecca Murohy whose home was so much warmer than ours I wuld just sit on the landing all night long after she fell asleep.

And I had horriific pains in my legs allthe time but Mum never brought me to the doctor.

I don't really remember my birhday parties except for playing pass the parcel and musical chairs whereas Ruth got to go ice skating. Maybe one time we went to MacDonalds.

Then came secondary school and I would have actually preferred to go the community college because then it's a mixed school and girls' schools are weird.

My cousin Juliana useed to visit from Dublin but for some reason she stoppped coming so now we're not close at all which is really sad I liked Juliana a lot.

Secondary schoolwas spent entirely trying to get rid of Rebecca and make an actual friend but I di not get rid of her until unviversity.

Theuniversity was just madness and mayhem and I had a boyfriend called sean.

Then I umped him after three years and got with James doing an internshiip at a Reinssurance company.

Then I went to Central Saint Martins and I wonder if today anyone there would remember me. I might goback and finish my degree sometime.

Then I managged to get into a PhD program that did not require a masters because Mum and Dad couldn't afford to pay for a masters and I did get funding for one but then the course got cancelled.

So I went to Swansea.

Thhen I went to Milton Keynes also for a money reason,then I went to the Hague, a place I actually wanted to be in.