being a pansy

 I am actually typically afraid of even my own shadow, spiders, ants etc. Even sometimes butterflies. I hide behind cushions at violence or scariness in films. I'm actually quite proud of these things, I suppose it could be described as similar to when I was a vegetarian meat freaked me out for being so commonplace and coming from animal harm, and the mentality it was inducing. I would never tolerate a "carnivore" without criticising.

So being a pansy is maybe pansyism until I come to terms with violence and scariness but also I do really disagree with those ideas. Having them absent from my life and experience is actually changing me, into more peacable and trabquil. Like how being a vegetarian gave me a whole huge appreciation of food. 

Except I don't mind being around people who like horror films, but maybe the attitude has already changed. As for bugs, David Attenborough actually made them look even creepier by zooming in. They actually do have a certain mechanical charm that I'm starting to appreciate. 

So pansyism cultivates a mindset of peace, tranquility and goodwill. My dog for example likes playing with leaves and pieces of grass.