I'm a dilletante

This whole saga of leaving NLO, volunteering to be true to myself and moving to France with mum and dad is teaching me my own scorn for society. I couldn't abide it even though it was brilliant and working out... 🤷🏻‍♀️

What can I say except if I'm working on a patent draft with a coming deadline in a PANDEMIC and I'm too obsessed with the r ratio and reading clinical trials of vaccines with the motivation only to chip in about the global crisis (i published an article solving the patenting dilemma of vaccines), then maybe I'm a bigger picture person. If my main originality is writing and artwork and my art practice begins to consume me... Maybe something more serious than claim 1 is going on within myself that needs to be listened to. So, hate me about it, but I'm not going back. My parents are being so supportive I have huge freedom right now and I really am using it to solve my inner turmoil and have some direction. Besides which, there's MS and schizophrenia to take into account rather than dying of a heart attack (i was already getting chest pain and flushing)) age 35,so it's a reworking. Of my life, my habitat, my pursuits. And with this direction my chronic pain is going away.

Health is wealth, we all have to look after ourselves, at the end of the day. So here I am. In Brax. For the foreseeable future. 

Aaaaand it's worth mentioning I'm having a profound holy experience something rather vocational in nature. 

But why live with my parents you ask? They have always promised me security and acceptance. They're enabling my bigger mission. No questions asked. Sniff at that if you will but I think it's rare, priceless even.