my emotions

My emotions are not unstable but they are turbulent. I'm forever looking for a way to drain them from my system. I'm still feeling sadness from 20 years ago!

I also explode with mirth if unchecked. 

I cry, I laugh, i freak out. 

My emotions have been a result of even thoughts or observations. Even situations, even as a story. I get so caught up on "but how could it be possible!?!" about a tragedy, then I turn to faith and say "that should not be allowable."

Then I design an alternative path and write it down for people to follow, a much better path. And they can choose it because it is writ. Then I see it in action and I weep to see a real way smiling face and then it kicks off again. I'm smiling with themselves but it's also like proof of the original premise which was so sad to contemplate carefully as a maybe I'm CONSTANTLY grieving the past. Maybe that helps it go away.

Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of the good times as well. Happy outings, zero disagreement negotiations (like WHICh side of majorca). Nice to be perceiving ☺️

I've definitely enjoyed my time existing! 😁 Which actually even more keenly engenders a feeling of duty to share it as a possibility. Most people find it hard and hogwash.

So here's to smiling (and crying 😉).