my narrative

I started life very hating it and everyone from time to time, despite a caring family and a kind of unaware state. I overcame it when i couldn't even seem to get what I wanted, by just being in it for the ride!

I was a bit angry (by my own standards, people actually thought of me as shy quiet and sweet), adorable and hence got in the bad habit of hiding my true feelings.

I remember bits of my childhood here and there and i learned early on that venting (punching my pillow or singing AT someone) was an okay way to handle my huge emotions.

School was actually really nice, I enjoyed it! I remember bragging that I enjoy it. Teachers liked me and I was quite popular (plenty of birthday parties and play dates). Plus, I wassmart enough to decide to learn as much as possible because I was already harbouring big dreams and i wanted to be prepared for being grown up. I also had a kind of knowledge addiction (and aptitude!). I got a reputation as a book worm and even read the whole (children's) dictionary. Everyone wanted me on their quiz team!

Later on, as i worked my way through the school system, I took up various teenage extracurricular activities and became one of the cool gang, actually I was kind of an honorary member of every gang. So I loved feeling like I owned the school. Teachers would let me wear odd socks and I started drinking alcohol just a little bit with my sister's friends when I was 12.

This developed into party animal, of a sort! I went to loads of house parties and started hanging out with the boy's school gang, drinking cans and going to bars.

It was the rock and roll crowd, I was so edgy I despised mainstream music and even wore safety pins in my ears for a while. 

At university I was actually popular with the more mainstream cool crowd of like chemistry and arts people. But I opted to join the maths society and learned ALOT about nerd culture. I felt like that was my real niche. 

During this time I also met the kind of dropout crowd and learned about taking things a bit less seriously. 

Then when I went to London, art student house parties, and collaborative chats were my addiction. 

At Swansea, I started going to meet ups. This opened me up to an adventurous lifestyle, I was seen as esoteric and approachable (but nervous, skittish even!). This carried on through Milton Keynes and I met amazing people, also in the Hague.

Then my big vision started and I was in a wonderland hanging out with strangely acting cartoon versions of gods in a kind of illusion for five years. So now I'm just getting back to... Life 🤷🏻‍♀️