my amazing self- zero to hero... 👌🏻💪🙅🏼‍♀️🦸

My life has been torrential, even in silent moments. A deluge. Of? Couldn't quite say. Except, it all started in Wicklow town. Then it was a jam jar then it was a dropped coin. So many moments!

I was SUCH a zero, reading books like pinbindindominilee. Like fionnula the glendalough goat. Acing it in the playground. Then all my thoughts went away, even periodically. Leaving just questions. Plenty to talk about. How did Hopkins hardware store feature? You can get anything there. A town of a million quirks.

Then it was Dublins rain soakex streets and biking in the snow. Getting psyched up about learning and exploring the many levels of the ucd library. That faint smell of mould from the carpts. Very much a real home away from home where a maths book makes such a good pillow. 

Then London, bright store lights bouncing around in the petrol puddles underfoot. Meaning and place. I don't know when I'll know what those thoughts would translate to except maybe much later on. I learned the art of collage and how I am incapable of conforming to a brief. 

Then, the looney bin for a little staycation away from my life. It was getting a bit too heavy going. I felt like I was in arrested development because my social life was never better.

Then I was tormented by being denied the chance to teach English in china. Everything was impossible, I couldn't string two thoughts together never mind get a job. So I decided to accept help and let the universe make all my decisions. My dreams were unattainable. Physics and art were lightyears away.

But swansea kind of worked out. I became a doctor and suffered so many doctor who references. It's a prerequisite of watching to be even bonfide academic. What a strange planet. 

I wined and dined in meet up circles of adventurous people. I drifted away from my peers but "I'm doing a phd in physics" ( which was almost true) and "I'm Irish" were my golden tickets to elite circles of success. Real success. Success that looks like two friends hiking in a blistering storm or careful inquiries to my own about. I decided just to be an enigma because I couldn't figure out how to even tell any one story or section. School became hippy nuns, family became oddballs and cv became "actually a string of awards and achievements". Not too shabby.

After becoming a doctor I wound up doing patent law in Milton Keynes, if swansea was a pretty shitty city, mk was a concrete utopia. At least, by design. Airports were my second life, checking in with the tweed suit travellers and briefcase people.

Mk was also under tje watchful eye of an insane landlord. That and the roundabouts made it the perfect refuge.

Sadly, life and ambition came calling. So I jumped across the pond and landed in the Netherlands. My own apartment. Very proud. Life was making sense if thought of in a certain order, but my stories just became more outlandish and unbelievable to my own ears... ("Ireland is famous for a singing turkey puppet ")... Oh yeah, it was a pandemic too.

And STILL no success (part time hero full time waif), no real evidence to rely on while my grasping of reality slipped away.

Then it's just cartoons and wholesome misadventures until now.